MixedMessages

Mixed Messages - Tom Cardy

Composed by：Tom Cardy

It's Sunday night and you're at home all alone

Last night was great it was our very first date

So now it's time to pull out my phone

Gonna send you somethin' real quick

It ain't gonna be a d**k pick no no

Romance needs clarity

But baby that don't work for me I'm sendin'

Mixed messages

Mixed messages

I send the first text in a cute way

Cute way

And then I don't reply for seven f**kin' days yeah

Mixed messages

Mixed messages

Oh you text me what night am I free

And I reply "Yes" full stop

I send you a little smiley face

Smiley face

So you send me back a little smiley face

Little smiley face

And then I say "Hey" and so you write back "Hey"

And I say "'Hey' what"

Hey what

And you say "You said 'hey' first"

And I say "Okay

Okay

'Croissant emoji' f**k you"

Mixed messages

Mixed messages

One second I say you're very pretty

Very pretty

And then I show up at your house and I kick your dog yeah

Mixed messages

Mixed messages

I pay for the dog's veterinary bills

But then I punch your dad in the d**k ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Now we're going to a hospital

Just me you and your dad in the back of an ambulance

And even with your dad's broken d**k

The air is thick with s*xual tension

I'm really sorry for punchin' your dad in the d**k

I won't do it again

You make me shake his hands and promise

But as I do I ball up my other fist and I

Punch your dad in the d**k again

D**k again

I punch your dad in his broken d**k again

You think I'm sexy I'm being mysterious

Sendin' you these mi-mixed messages

You say "Stop punchin' my dad's d**k"

I say "Okay" but then I wink

So you grab both of my hands quick

Stopping my third attempt to punch your dad's d**k

Oh baby you've played this game before

Too bad I've played a little bit more

You got my both my hands so I use my head

I headbutt your dad's pants in the back of an ambulance

And between the headbutts our eyes lock as we're holding hands