TheMainCharacter

Will Wood-the main character

I'm that first person they talk about in all the books，

I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look，

Control the narrative reliably, baby, it's all about me，

And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who don't do it by it，

So now I'm holding myself hostage,

Stockholm lust just looks like justice，

And enough lefts don't make the right but two wrongs do，

Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this!

Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground，

‘Cause if you shake your fist at snakes in grass，

It looks like punching down，

So god forbid I'm seen just as an average human being，

I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene，

I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy，

Don't come at me，

I'm the main character and you have to like me，

I loot plot armor from NPC's，

Well, they are to me，

Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats; it's all XP，

Look in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane!

No, it's superego!

The underdog you cheer for，

Villains are everywhere, that's how I know that I'm the hero!

So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache，

Snidely Whiplash, Boris Badenov, ignoring me's bad enough，

Where do you get off?

Da, das vedanya, darling，

Daleks in high collars monologue and I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet,

So god forbid I'm seen just as an average human being，

I mean imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene，

I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy，

Don't come at me，

I'm the main character and you have to like me，

Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach，

You don't know the prose or if the spine is still intact，

Oh, like Alice fell to Wonderland, come astroturf my Overton，

And bolden my demand to live by alternative facts，

Her majesty says "The Royal We demand a standard of loyalty，

An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor's new boots，

The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine，

And Siemens made the Zyklon B but we all still get the flu，

We all do what we need to to get through，

(It's nothing new)，

But I ain't done a ****ing thing to you!"，

So god forbid I'm seen just as an average human being，

I mean imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme，

I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy，

Don't come at me，I'm the main character and you have to like me，