IfICouldGoBack

If I Could Go Back - Soul Blues Icon

I found your old sweater

In the back of the closet today

The one you wore on that night

We fought about absolutely nothing

And somehow everything

I held it like it was fragile

Like the fabric might blame me too

Funny how the smallest things

Hold the loudest memories

I sat on the floor and the room went quiet

In that way memories do

When they're too heavy to carry

But too honest to ignore

And all I could think was

God

How did I not see

What was slipping away

You didn't need me to be perfect

You just needed me

To pay attention

And I didn't

Not when it mattered

If I could go back

I'd answer you the first time you said

I feel alone

If I could go back

I'd stay in the room instead of shutting down

I'd hold your face instead of my pride

I'd fight for us instead of winning arguments

That cost me everything

If I could go back

I'd love you out loud not quietly

Not someday

But right then when you needed me most

I replay the little moments

The ones I brushed off

Thinking we had forever

How you stood in the doorway

With tears you tried to blink away

Because I said something careless

And I was too stubborn to say I was wrong

Or the night you cooked dinner

And I came home late

Too tired, too distracted

Too wrapped up in my own world

To notice yours was falling apart

Right beside me

You weren't asking for miracles

You just wanted me present

You wanted to matter

And I made you feel small

In a life you helped me build

I thought love was safe

If I didn't show how much I needed you

I thought distance was strength

I thought silence was easier than honesty

I was wrong about all of it

If I could go back

I'd sit beside you instead of across from you