IWonder

I Wonder - Gowe

Her mind was confused with a plus at the tip of the tube

Sick as she threw up with a cup take a sip of abuse

So she gets nervous cause her man left her

After the sex and he jets she thought that he loved her

You see shes 18 and shes a bit conscious

About her dress and the reflection of her own image

Timid in speech shes limited given a week

With her tummy blowing up so that people can see

But she decides to keep it said no to abortion

The feet kicks in her stomach comes without a warning

She feels the pain though cause her parents cry

And the shame eats her alive when she closed her eyes

Then the day comes she gives birth to a son

Kim sung hoon soon she holds and kisses her love

Wishing it never ended taking a mental picture

Hoping through the tears that her son would have a better future

I wonder if there's a smile on your face

Sometimes I miss you and long for your embrace

I never could thank you enough for holding on

Dear mama mama mama forever I'll hold you in my heart

So she wonders what happened to her son next

Is there clothes on his back food on his plate whats the context

The recollection of the day replays in her mindset

And the ways she would try but just never could forget

Well he's okay and he resides in the states

A needle in space in which rain makes it a beautiful place

Embraced by the culture and he's loved by all the members

Until he turns 18 and his world get flipped

He hears that his mom is not actually his and that complications

Prevented her from having any kids and his real mom

Is actually Korean and she had to give him up for adoption

Cause she was young and was a student

Lost and was confused and wrestling in the moment

Am I Chinese or Korean am I destined in this union

And if I am what's the purpose I jot it in my verses

So I replay it in my mind as I think about you

I wonder if there's a smile on your face

Sometimes I miss you and long for your embrace

I never could thank you enough for holding on

Dear mama mama mama forever I'll hold you in my heart

If I could write a letter and know that you would read it

I would tell you that I never once in my heart felt hatred

Reinstated I would play a song and dance with you

Hold your hand as I thank the lord for creating you

As strong as you are cause in my mind I can't fathom

The pain and the guilt when all you heard was their gossip

And still you stuck through it when they called you foolish

And with this gift that I possess your probably loved music

I hope you're doing well I hope some day you'll see this

I hope I mean I really hope that you know Jesus on a deeper level

Seeking just to know him better I hope in perfect timing we can

See the reason clearer I hope you're smiling now

I hope I cross your mind I hope you never second guess

If what you did was right cause I'm so proud of you

I love and admire you

So after all these years this is my way of telling you

I wonder if there's a smile on your face

Sometimes I miss you and long for your embrace

I never could thank you enough for holding on